You know how people keep appliances or furniture that’s broken simply because of the nostalgia or good times associated with it? That’s what depression feels like. You feel like the person that you used to be is completely gone and the only thing that remains is a shell or an afterimage of that. People love those remains though… They love you regardless. When you’re depressed you’re an actor. Every time you smile or say you’re doing great is an Oscar-winning performance. You’re Lando Calrissian at group gatherings. You’re Patch Adams when your friends are down and out. At work you’re Dr. Emmett Brown from Back to the Future. To your family you’re Bradley Cooper in Limitless… Perfect. Depression is not knowing who you are. Depression is feeling everyone’s love and feeling everyone’s faith in you… but you just can’t absorb it. Depression is a saturated sponge of negativity that leaves no space for happiness. Depression is a bad hologram that you can’t turn off. It’s the filter on Instagram and Snapchat that you can’t stand but it’s set to default. You look in the mirror and see the owner of nowhere land; the king of a castle made of sand. Depression is wondering if God sees you; wondering if He’s mad at you. It’s seeing your prayers going to a voicemail and the mailbox is full.  You have to keep fighting. You have to push through it.  You don’t have to do it alone. There is help for you. I don’t say that as a motivational speaker. I say that because it’s what I tell myself everyday. You’re not alone because I’m with you. You’re loved.

roses-and-small-bees:

Klaus and Five are both chaotic neutrals but on different ends of a spectrum,,,, ,, gimme a second

This is it

Do you ever wonder if you’re broken, or if you were ever whole to begin with? I feel like that all the time… and I wonder if that’s normal. It certainly isn’t a normal subject to talk about… but we all fight our own personal battles… To the point that at times I think the normal human has a part of them that may be broken… or maybe I’m broken and trying to normalize it by claiming others are… or maybe I’m normal and the world around me is broken… What if it’s all of those? Maybe life is a sine curve that will forever have its ups and downs… Which then makes me wonder… Will I ever have peace or be happy? Will anyone? Happiness for me has always only been temporary… Is that how it’s supposed to be? Is that normal? I know I sound like a Linkin Park song right now… I’ll be back to posting memes and trash talking Trump in no time… but every now and then… Yeah, this happens.

Do you ever feel like you’re crazy? Not like “Oh, I’m different!” but like… do you ever feel like you’re broken and nobody else knows it?